Begining the Intro course again

My old scores on the first questionare of the intro course are as follows:

Physical intuition- 29

Emotional intuition- 43

Mental intuition- 57

Spiritual intuition- 43

while my new scores are as follows :

Physical intuition- 35

Emotional intuition- 53

Mental intuition- 55

Spiritual intuition- 47

 

I am currently reading the various Meditation exercises and hope to begin Meditation practices within the next day or so.  I did have one interesting observation after reading about emotional intuition.  Last night a heavy fog rolled into town.  This morning I awoke with a strong feeling of despair and depression.  While I certainly have issues going on in my life that could give me cause for despair, I don’t personally despair, I trust the Force and rededicate myself to the tasks at hand.  While wrestling with this depression I remembered the description of the emotional intuitive.  With this in mind I came to the conclusion that the feelings were not my own but that I was picking up on a town full of people who awoke to thick fog and deepening depression and despair.  Even with this realization the feeling did not go away, but it did give me solace to understand where it was coming from.  I drove to the boss’s house and the feeling remained, so much so that I had to remind myself that no one wants a depressed mopey employee showing up for work.  We then drove about 30 minutes away to a more remote area where the sun was shining brightly.  The feeling left me somewhere near the end of the drive.  It is now 6PM and the feelings have not returned. I always knew that I could pick up on and interpret peoples feelings who were near me, but it never occurred to me that I could be empathetic to a mass of people who I could not see or hear however.

A Self quiz I took at the Temple of the Jedi Order

1. who are you as a person?–That is what I am attempting to figure out.

2. what do you hope to gain in life? –Knowledge of who I am, Control of who I am, and knowledge of the Force.

3. what do you hope to gain from learning this path? –Emotional control, and self mastery.

4. who is you’re idol i history? –I don’t think about that often… Perhaps the Buddha or Jesus, because they brought so many peace.

5. out of all the subjects in education which is you’re fav? –Physics, Diplomacy/communication, and perhaps philosophy.

6. will you ever want to stop learning? –No, I love to learn.

7. are you willing to do what is asked for the greater good? –Yes, however I can not see an acceptable time to lay down one’s morals at present. So I would qualify the “yes” with “as long as it did not contradict my own morals”.

8. are you willing to put you’re self in harms way to help people? –Yes, if it is necessary.

9. are you willing to put someone else in harms way if the situation calls for it? –Only if they are willing, and the greater good calls for it to be done.

10. what kind of mentality do you have towards mankind? –compassion, peace, and the realization that we are all one, in the Force.

11. are you afraid of death? –No, however I am enjoying living, very much.

12. are you afraid of life? –Sometimes, life is so complicated, or I make it such, that it seems overwhelming and confusing. In the past, perhaps I did fear life, but not presently.

13. what religion do you currently practice? –None. Though I believe in much of what Christianity teaches, as well as Jedisim.

14. why? –Practice denotes action, and I have not physically prayed or lifted a bible in over a year. Not because of any ill feelings that I can think of. More an evolution of thinking perhaps… As far as Jedisim, I actively train in and walk the Jedi path. Whether or not that is practicing Jedisim, I do not know.

15. are you willing to learn from anyone, or just those you feel has earned you’re respect? –I am willing to learn. If one can not accept growth and knowledge from any source regardless of their feelings of it, they are deluding them selves into thinking that they are truly learning. One can perhaps learn the most form those one does not agree with. I actively seek to learn form all life, in any form.

16. do you feel the need to question all you don’t understand? –Yes, though I believe there are some things that can not be understood in this lifetime.

17. what was it like for you growing up? –Fun, and filled with exploration.

18. what were you’re parents like? –My mother is very open minded and thinks along the lines of the metaphysical. She is kind and loving to everyone I have ever seen her come into contact with. My dad I did not know very well. He was no longer living with me by 10yo. He was a Vietnam vet and a big biker sort. I do not know if he is still alive or where he is today. I am understanding more and more that I want to know.

19. what is behind you’re family tree? –I don’t know, I have not looked. Mostly Russians, Jews, and Romanian’s, and the Irish. As for what they did, I don’t know.

20. do you have respect for everything? –Yes. I believe that all life is a manifestation of the Force seeking to experience, the experience of living. I see the will of the Force everywhere I look. As for matter, I respect that it exists, and has a purpose.

21. do you have respect for you’re self? –Yes.

22. if some one started a fight with you what would you do? –Talk my way out of it, and defend myself only if it was absolutely necessary. I have no interest in hurting anyone.

23. if the situation called for it would you kill a person? –Yes. Though few situations really do, I think. Far to often people believe that death is the only way to stop someone. Perhaps they are right, but I believe much of the time killing can be put aside in favor of other options.

24. if the situation called for it would you kill an animal? –Yes. Though I have never killed anything for fun, or just the experience of doing so, and I don’t intend to start now.

25. if you would kill an animal but not a man, what is the difference? –There is little difference. Killing, for sustenance is part of life.

26. how often do you feel the need to be right? –Far to often to be justified, and often enough to see the need to work on how that feeling affects me.

27. do you mind if someone proves you wrong? –I would hope that if they could, they would. It would only mean that I can move on to another line of thinking. Though everything is based on perspective, so one mans truth can be another mans falsehood.

28. will you listen to what others say about you, good and bad? –Absolutely. I in fact do not pay much mind those who speak only to gratify others.

29. do you doubt you’re self? –I recognize that I have much room to grow.

30. do you doubt you’re faith sometimes? –I question everything, but I also recognize when something has been questioned as much as is currently productive. I also know that ones beliefs are often an evolution of growing through time, and as such are more of a marker where one has been, then a sign post to where one is going.

31. what would you do if someone threatened you’re family? –Protect them as necessary. Though conflict can often be avoided.

32. what would you do if you were threatened? — Protect my self as necessary. Though conflict can often be avoided.

33. do you respect all life big and small? –I do not measure the amount of respect something deserves by the amount of mass it has.

34. what is you’re background education? –I did not finish high school, and I have taken some college math classes, mostly math and computer science. I also recently completed a smog course to help me obtain my California automotive smog license.

35. if you are told to believe something that goes against all beliefs would you? –I can not be told what to believe. I can only be shown the path to new discovery and new realizations.

36. if you move to the left when you should have moved to the right would you dwell on it? –Only long enough to learn from it, and understand why it happened if necessary. It is not always necessary to know why something happened to learn from it.

37. do you learn from the past or forget it? –Learn

38. do you try to prevent the future or welcome it, why? –The future can not be prevented, it can only be welcomed or ignored. I chose to welcome it.

39. if you feel you are right, and yet you offended someone would you apologies? –Yes

40. do you feel that i can teach you what you want, and why? –I feel that we are all teaching each other as we actively discover new realizations and compare them to each others perspective and view points.

Jun 19 2009

Today -Jun 19 2009 two very inspiring things happened to me. One is that I found what looks like a VERY like minded group of people who seem to be very serious about becoming, living as, and training Jedi. I am hopeful. The other thing is that I had an interview for a Job at Ace hardware, and I was exhibiting signs of nervousness throughout. I am thankful to be aware of physical proof of lessons in need such that I am humbled a bit more such that my cup is emptied a bit more. I am rapidly loosing the tea in my cup…
I am studying some of Joseph Campbell Lectures on Myth, they are very interesting and enlightening. I shall post the links and results of my study in this journal.

Introduction to Force Studies

The results of the questionnaire were much as I would have suspected they would be.  The specific results were:

Physical intuition- 29

Emotional intuition- 43

Mental intuition- 57

Spiritual intuition- 43

Presently I feel preoccupied with my spiritual intuition, or feeling oneness.  The guided meditation for grounding should help in gaining attachment to daily life and focus my energies on living beyond the knowledge of oneness.  My mental and emotional intuition are balanced nicely most of the time so that I can feel the emotion of a situation but guide that feeling with logic.  If anything I tend to lean to the over logical side to often, forgetting that not every thing is logical.

Even though It it did not score the highest, I believe I am caught up in my spiritual intuition more then any other currently.  I am finding it hard some days not to contemplate oneness and universal perspective when I should be working or otherwise being productive.  Truly I find every day tasks often harder then contemplating the mysteries of the universe, most days.  I recently came about a perspective that has nurtured my belief that we are all one.  Through that belief I have realized that there is no good or evil, only the Force.  It is in this belief that I have found peace like none other I have ever known.  Though I have peace as related to others, this large shift in perspective has made some parts of my life a bit more fuzzy then they used to be.  With a new perspective comes new glasses that may take some time getting used to.  I relate my new contemplations, and difficulties with average daily tasks to the description of spiritual intuition in the force studies introduction.  I have always found the bigger picture easier to focus on then the smaller more day to day one.  However part of what I wish to accomplish is a balance between all my intuitive aspects so that no single one dominates my perception.

June 10 – 17, 2009

June 10 – 17,  2009

I have only recently found that that what I was seeking was the Jedi philosophy. This was about a week ago, right around Jun 10′th of 2009. When I started searching Google, and found a few sites, I did not like what I saw either because I thought the training was to soft, or because I did not agree with some core belief that the site seemed to cultivate. I when I finally found a site with an active forum I proceeded to spew forth my disappointment. It took the Form of posts with the message ” Jedi should be” and “Jedi are never” and “a Jedi does not” and so on and so on. Whether my views were right, true, or helpful does not matter. I knew from the first post that I was overcome with emotion on the subject and should meditate on the subject for some time before I communicated my thoughts. I did not, and so spent about a week delving out “truths” in post after post. It was only near the end of the week that I realized (with some gentle guiding from some patient folks) that I was full of all the answers. I immediately realized I had to solve one of two things. Either I had all the answers, or, I started my search to learn and grow. The answer was a paradox. I had all the answers yet sought to learn and grow. Something had to change. After thinking about this for about a minute I came to the conclusion above. That whether my views were right, true, or helpful did not matter. So with that in mind I did my best mental cup emptying on the spot and sat. I found it comforting that at least the Jedi i had contact with were wise and helpful. Who better to help guide ones discovery of the Force? I still have many questions, and indeed still a few answers, but at least there is room in my cup now for the answers I seek.

Jun 19 2009 – Studying Joseph Campbell

Today-Jun 19 2009 I listened to the lecture, taking notes, and then went for the second run of the week (in steel toe boots) of about 2 mi. I feel good. Here are my results form the first lecture entitled The heros adventure.The lecture can be found here http://johnphelan.com/lib…_the_heros_adventure.mp3

Joseph died in 1987 and believed that everything begins with a story…

Joseph did not have an ideology; the word means:
1. the body of doctrine, myth, belief, etc., that guides an individual, social movement, institution, class, or large group.
2. such a body of doctrine, myth, etc., with reference to some political and social plan, as that of fascism, along with the devices for putting it into operation.
3. Philosophy.
a. the study of the nature and origin of ideas.
b. a system that derives ideas exclusively from sensation.
4. theorizing of a visionary or impractical nature.

Joseph also had no theology; the word means:
1. the field of study and analysis that treats of God and of God’s attributes and relations to the universe; study of divine things or religious truth; divinity.
2. a particular form, system, branch, or course of this study.

The path to the dark side is one of giving into the intellectual side, and living by a system. The brain must submit to the humanity of the body. When the consciousness of the brain does not submit one turns to the dark side.

Myth and Hero’s (and religion) are a function of the threshold of communication. That is to say, the only way we have to communicate the uncommunicable, ( the great mystery of life) is through myth, hero’s and religion.

The mythical dragon represents the EGO cage we created for our selfs. We must slay this dragon to gain a larger field of relationships.

EGO : is what I want, what I think I love, what I believe, what I can do ( which may be to small ). EGO is that which pins us down. The EGO is is the dragon, the dragon is blocking you in.

The new myth symbol should be that of the earth… Something that includes all people and life.