Archive for the 'Personal Journal' Category

27
Jul
09

A Self quiz I took at the Temple of the Jedi Order

1. who are you as a person?–That is what I am attempting to figure out.

2. what do you hope to gain in life? –Knowledge of who I am, Control of who I am, and knowledge of the Force.

3. what do you hope to gain from learning this path? –Emotional control, and self mastery.

4. who is you’re idol i history? –I don’t think about that often… Perhaps the Buddha or Jesus, because they brought so many peace.

5. out of all the subjects in education which is you’re fav? –Physics, Diplomacy/communication, and perhaps philosophy.

6. will you ever want to stop learning? –No, I love to learn.

7. are you willing to do what is asked for the greater good? –Yes, however I can not see an acceptable time to lay down one’s morals at present. So I would qualify the “yes” with “as long as it did not contradict my own morals”.

8. are you willing to put you’re self in harms way to help people? –Yes, if it is necessary.

9. are you willing to put someone else in harms way if the situation calls for it? –Only if they are willing, and the greater good calls for it to be done.

10. what kind of mentality do you have towards mankind? –compassion, peace, and the realization that we are all one, in the Force.

11. are you afraid of death? –No, however I am enjoying living, very much.

12. are you afraid of life? –Sometimes, life is so complicated, or I make it such, that it seems overwhelming and confusing. In the past, perhaps I did fear life, but not presently.

13. what religion do you currently practice? –None. Though I believe in much of what Christianity teaches, as well as Jedisim.

14. why? –Practice denotes action, and I have not physically prayed or lifted a bible in over a year. Not because of any ill feelings that I can think of. More an evolution of thinking perhaps… As far as Jedisim, I actively train in and walk the Jedi path. Whether or not that is practicing Jedisim, I do not know.

15. are you willing to learn from anyone, or just those you feel has earned you’re respect? –I am willing to learn. If one can not accept growth and knowledge from any source regardless of their feelings of it, they are deluding them selves into thinking that they are truly learning. One can perhaps learn the most form those one does not agree with. I actively seek to learn form all life, in any form.

16. do you feel the need to question all you don’t understand? –Yes, though I believe there are some things that can not be understood in this lifetime.

17. what was it like for you growing up? –Fun, and filled with exploration.

18. what were you’re parents like? –My mother is very open minded and thinks along the lines of the metaphysical. She is kind and loving to everyone I have ever seen her come into contact with. My dad I did not know very well. He was no longer living with me by 10yo. He was a Vietnam vet and a big biker sort. I do not know if he is still alive or where he is today. I am understanding more and more that I want to know.

19. what is behind you’re family tree? –I don’t know, I have not looked. Mostly Russians, Jews, and Romanian’s, and the Irish. As for what they did, I don’t know.

20. do you have respect for everything? –Yes. I believe that all life is a manifestation of the Force seeking to experience, the experience of living. I see the will of the Force everywhere I look. As for matter, I respect that it exists, and has a purpose.

21. do you have respect for you’re self? –Yes.

22. if some one started a fight with you what would you do? –Talk my way out of it, and defend myself only if it was absolutely necessary. I have no interest in hurting anyone.

23. if the situation called for it would you kill a person? –Yes. Though few situations really do, I think. Far to often people believe that death is the only way to stop someone. Perhaps they are right, but I believe much of the time killing can be put aside in favor of other options.

24. if the situation called for it would you kill an animal? –Yes. Though I have never killed anything for fun, or just the experience of doing so, and I don’t intend to start now.

25. if you would kill an animal but not a man, what is the difference? –There is little difference. Killing, for sustenance is part of life.

26. how often do you feel the need to be right? –Far to often to be justified, and often enough to see the need to work on how that feeling affects me.

27. do you mind if someone proves you wrong? –I would hope that if they could, they would. It would only mean that I can move on to another line of thinking. Though everything is based on perspective, so one mans truth can be another mans falsehood.

28. will you listen to what others say about you, good and bad? –Absolutely. I in fact do not pay much mind those who speak only to gratify others.

29. do you doubt you’re self? –I recognize that I have much room to grow.

30. do you doubt you’re faith sometimes? –I question everything, but I also recognize when something has been questioned as much as is currently productive. I also know that ones beliefs are often an evolution of growing through time, and as such are more of a marker where one has been, then a sign post to where one is going.

31. what would you do if someone threatened you’re family? –Protect them as necessary. Though conflict can often be avoided.

32. what would you do if you were threatened? — Protect my self as necessary. Though conflict can often be avoided.

33. do you respect all life big and small? –I do not measure the amount of respect something deserves by the amount of mass it has.

34. what is you’re background education? –I did not finish high school, and I have taken some college math classes, mostly math and computer science. I also recently completed a smog course to help me obtain my California automotive smog license.

35. if you are told to believe something that goes against all beliefs would you? –I can not be told what to believe. I can only be shown the path to new discovery and new realizations.

36. if you move to the left when you should have moved to the right would you dwell on it? –Only long enough to learn from it, and understand why it happened if necessary. It is not always necessary to know why something happened to learn from it.

37. do you learn from the past or forget it? –Learn

38. do you try to prevent the future or welcome it, why? –The future can not be prevented, it can only be welcomed or ignored. I chose to welcome it.

39. if you feel you are right, and yet you offended someone would you apologies? –Yes

40. do you feel that i can teach you what you want, and why? –I feel that we are all teaching each other as we actively discover new realizations and compare them to each others perspective and view points.

24
Jul
09

Jun 19 2009

Today -Jun 19 2009 two very inspiring things happened to me. One is that I found what looks like a VERY like minded group of people who seem to be very serious about becoming, living as, and training Jedi. I am hopeful. The other thing is that I had an interview for a Job at Ace hardware, and I was exhibiting signs of nervousness throughout. I am thankful to be aware of physical proof of lessons in need such that I am humbled a bit more such that my cup is emptied a bit more. I am rapidly loosing the tea in my cup…
I am studying some of Joseph Campbell Lectures on Myth, they are very interesting and enlightening. I shall post the links and results of my study in this journal.
12
Jul
09

June 10 – 17, 2009

June 10 – 17,  2009

I have only recently found that that what I was seeking was the Jedi philosophy. This was about a week ago, right around Jun 10′th of 2009. When I started searching Google, and found a few sites, I did not like what I saw either because I thought the training was to soft, or because I did not agree with some core belief that the site seemed to cultivate. I when I finally found a site with an active forum I proceeded to spew forth my disappointment. It took the Form of posts with the message ” Jedi should be” and “Jedi are never” and “a Jedi does not” and so on and so on. Whether my views were right, true, or helpful does not matter. I knew from the first post that I was overcome with emotion on the subject and should meditate on the subject for some time before I communicated my thoughts. I did not, and so spent about a week delving out “truths” in post after post. It was only near the end of the week that I realized (with some gentle guiding from some patient folks) that I was full of all the answers. I immediately realized I had to solve one of two things. Either I had all the answers, or, I started my search to learn and grow. The answer was a paradox. I had all the answers yet sought to learn and grow. Something had to change. After thinking about this for about a minute I came to the conclusion above. That whether my views were right, true, or helpful did not matter. So with that in mind I did my best mental cup emptying on the spot and sat. I found it comforting that at least the Jedi i had contact with were wise and helpful. Who better to help guide ones discovery of the Force? I still have many questions, and indeed still a few answers, but at least there is room in my cup now for the answers I seek.




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